All things Adoption Pro This Anti That

Pro This Anti That
"Everything you are against weakens you. Everything you are for empowers you."

-- Wayne Dyer

It's been quite a long time since I poked my nose in and around the online adoption community. Early on in my post surrender online experiences I ran across a lot of heated and often triggering comments and discussions. I learned pretty quickly that there are definite camps from all different sides of the adoption world. Recently in a facebook forum, a flood of comments and points of view flew back and forth. The issues were highly emotional and political. I think any type of open discussion where everyone is included is positive and can sometimes be educational. It made me really think about my position on adoption in general. According to Life Strategist Wayne Dwyer, everything you are against weakens you, and everything you are for empowers you.

I strongly believe that adoption in all of its many forms needs to be reformed. I am for family preservation. I believe that children should be raised with their family of origin and in their own cultures and communities. I think that creating an industry, whereby agencies and individuals earn millions in profits by actively separating babies from their mothers, is wrong. I support open records for those who have been adopted. I believe that every human being has a basic human right to know their parents names, any relevant history and that their identity shouldnt be a state sealed secret.

I think the entire system called adoption should be put to an end. I believe guardianships would completely cover the legal rights and needs of a minor infant or child, whereby they keep their identity and are allowed appropriate contact with their family. Guardianships can be monitored by the courts and change as the family situation and needs change. I believe the focus should be on children's rights and women's rights. Every mother should be recoginized as such and should be given every opportunity and support to raise her child. If she chooses a plan to share custody or appoint a guardian, she will not be termed a 'birth mother' or 'biological mother'. She will always be mother.

International adoptions need to be halted. More international support and attention should be paid to countries struggling with poverty and broken down child welfare systems. These communities need long term investments and programs to help foster social and economic change. No human being should be coerced or otherwised forced to surrender a child because of corruption or poverty. No child should have to endure the often inhumane and desperate conditions of an orphanage. No person on earth should be able to simply walk through a facility, surf a website or otherwise purchase a baby or child like you would a common house pet.

Society needs to stop buying into the adoption myth. There will always be orphans in our world who will require loving homes and parents willing to raise them. It doesnt mean erasing their identity, it isn't about making some lucky couple parents, they aren't precious gifts that grow in people's hearts. Love does know a color and a culture and children desperately need to be told the truth of who they are and where they come from. We can provide all children with the love and stability they need, recognizing their loss when their mothers arent able to raise them. They need not feel loyal or grateful to their guardians and they most certainly should be allowed to be who they are and feel how they feel about their situation.

As you can see, a lot needs to change in the world we call adoption. It's very basis is founded on a lie and is built upon covering up the truth. There is a humane and ethical way to deliver safe and healthy homes built upon the principles of justice, love and equality. We are constantly being bombarded with images and messages that tell us adoption is acceptable. As a first mother, other members of the adoption community feel they need to flame me. When I speak the truth it really irks people. Yet I know that I know that I know, that what I stand for is right and that there is a solution to helping those in need, that doesnt require all the elaborate schemes, false ideologies and trappings of the industry that is adoption.
Posted by Other Mother at Friday, February 05, 2010
Labels: adoptee rights, adoption loss, adoption sucks, child welfare, international adoption, open adoption, open records, single parenting, womens rights, world poverty

http://all-thingsadoption.blogspot.com/2010/02/pro-this-anti-that.html