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Isabella Brooke Knightly and Austin Gamez-Knightly

Isabella Brooke Knightly and Austin Gamez-Knightly
In Memory of my Loving Husband, William F. Knightly Jr. Murdered by ILLEGAL Palliative Care at a Nashua, NH Hospital

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

CPS-Mandated Classes - What Should You Do?

CPS-Mandated Classes - What Should You Do?

Written by: My good friend Brenda Alexander
January 26, 2010
© All rights Reserved

Editor's Note: If you want to reprint this on your website or blog, please feel free to do so. Brenda would appreciate credit and a link back to her blog. You can email her at bwalexander3@yahoo.com, to let her know you've used it as she always feels honored when someone likes what she has to say. It's all about raising awareness and we don't let our ego's get involved. Here is a link to her blog CPS - A System Out of Control.

Once CPS has come into your life and substantiated an abuse and/or neglect charge against you, they're going to force you to jump through a lot of hoops in order to get your children back. One of the biggest problems concerning this is that it's never enough.

First, they want you to take drug and alcohol tests. Even if you're on a prescription drug, legally prescribed by a doctor, if the test comes back positive, they will force you into rehab even if you're not addicted. Also, narcotic pain medication only comes back as positive for opiates. It does not differentiate from Tylenol #3 and heroin. One mixed drink at dinner or a glass of wine, you'll test positive for alcohol. There are far too many traps in taking drug tests. Also, there are a lot of innocent things that can cause false positives. Certain cold medications can make you test positive for PCP. Poppy seeds can make your drug test positive for opiates. Just being in the same room with someone smoking marijuana will make you test positive for THC.

If you are required to take random drug tests, I suggest that you bring along a home test to take in front of the social worker. Most likely she won't document it or make any reference to it in her report but you can. What I would do is then to write them a letter, send it registered mail, and copy it to her boss, your attorneys, the judge, the children's CASA or GAL and anyone else stating that you took a drug test in addition and that it came back clean. If nothing else, it might keep them honest. I've heard of some social workers who actually lie (God forbid) in court and say that a drug/alcohol test came back positive. Always have a back-up plan and document everything. I cannot stress this enough.


The next thing they force you to do is take parenting classes. Once you agree to taking them (you really have no choice), you are basically admitting to the social/case worker that you're a bad parent and need help. The social worker is not going to tell you this either. My husband and I took so many different classes that I can only remember the name of one of them and that was "Love and Logic." Well, the problem here is that the next class we were forced to take contradicted what was said in the first class. It went on and on from there. When we reached the end and there were no more classes to take, we had to start the process all over again. Of course CPS made it sound like we failed the first time around and had to retake the classes in order to pass. This was extremely upsetting as not only did we finish the class, we excelled in them. Our parenting facilitator even wrote the judge about it. That didn't matter. The only person the judge listened to was the social worker, Nancy Wells.

Domestic violence is the next issue they will make you go through. It does not matter if you were really in an abusive relationship or not, they will force you to take an assessment or to go to counseling for DV. This is a very slippery slope here. If you refuse to go to counseling or therapy, then you are going to be non-compliant with the safety plan. If you do go, then you're admitting that your spouse or significant other abused you. Or maybe they'll even claim that you're the abuser as women can be just as abusive as men. If that's the case, then one or both of you will be forced into taking DV (domestic violence) classes and/or anger management. In many cases, the social worker will force you to leave the other parent, especially if it's a step-parent. They feel they have the power to break up marriages and the sad fact is, they do have that power.

Of course at the end of all of this, they will add more and more on to the list. It's never going to be enough. They always preface what they have to say by stating on the record, "and anything else we deem necessary for the parent(s) to do." There is no end. Once you've exhausted all their resources, you'll be forced to find others on your own. The problem is, if the state is not the one giving the class, most judges won't accept their assessments of you. I recommend that you take additional classes even if they're not required. A lot of churches and charities offer free parenting, DV, and anger management classes. Even if the judge or social worker doesn't accept it, your attorney can get it on the record.

The most important thing to do once CPS has become involved in your life is documentation. Find out what the recording laws are in your state and if it's allowed, and you have the capability to do so, videotape or tape record every single interaction you have with anyone involved in your case. I strongly recommend that you do this with your attorney as well, especially if they are court-appointed. If taping is not allowed or if you have to get the other party's permission and they deny you permission, then you write down everything that is said during that meeting. Even the most minor-sounding thing can be huge in court. Make sure they know you're documenting everything. Repeat back to them what you heard them say so there is no mistaking what was said.

Unfortunately, we don't have a choice in the matter or at least not any good choices. If we refuse to take the classes or drug testing, they will use that against you in court. If you do take the classes, then you're admitting you need them. The best thing to do is again document that you don't agree with the need to take these but you will do so because it's required of you to take the classes and/or tests.


Another important thing to do is is to make sure that the things you are required to do are given to you in a timely fashion. It is not uncommon for CPS agents to delay services for an extended length of time in order to make you fail. If David and I had not crashed that first parenting class, I'm not sure how long it would have taken our social worker to get to it. Do not let them do this to you as there is a specific time limit that you have to complete your assignments. Familiarize yourself with the Adoption and Safe Families Act. It's the law that gives CPS federal adoption bonus money for every child adopted out of the foster care system. Do not give them an excuse to use this law against you.

Posted by Divotdawg at 1:12 PM

http://cpsasystemoutofcontrol.blogspot.com/

4 comments:

  1. I totally agree with you there. My daughter was just asked this morning to do a drugtest @ school by a CPS worker who was in the area @ another school and since we have a open case as well as receiving assistance of sometype I was told that the CPS has a right to test anyone under the age of 18 while they are in the sytem. That is totally not fair. We have nothing to hide but, thats invading our privacy. My daughter was honest and told them they would find nicotine and that she did not have my permission. I think the system is not fair @ all.

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  2. I have a question. What about if your husband works 7am-7pm and cant do the classes and cant get off work?This last month we were told that even if miss 1 class we wont get our kids back and they'll be put up for adoption, they wait until this month to add 5 different classes on us knowing my husband has a job that he cant just take off...

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  3. They do it on purpose to make sure you lose. This is just one of their deceitful practices.

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  4. My son was taken away and they lied outright on the petition against us. Half of it is lies. Just made up bs. They said we didn't feed our son... that boy ate us out of house and home. He always got the biggest plate of food. He always had snacks. They said we had 30 cats...I had 13...8 kittens I had inside and was looking for homes for and five adult cats that stayed outside. They also said that peanut shells my son left on the floor in his room was cat feces...and that my stained wooden floor was stained by nothing but cat feces and urine. I clean that floor alot. It's stained from dirt and years of use. I also recently tore up the carpet to redo the floor. So it was being worked on. They've never been to my house except once and showed up because his school called because he gets smelly after P.E. I mean what right does the school have? So what he's a growing boy. It's Florida. He's at P.E. Jeez. They have even gone so far as to tell me that I can't post stuff on my social medias. They are taking away my first amendment right.

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